Dec 25, 2010

Yankee Swaps Are Not In The Spirit of Xmas

But I tried to fix that for one little girl.

The kids went first. When she opened her gift and saw she got a Barnes and Noble gift card she was so psyched, but then the next person to go took that and she ended up with a gift card to GameStop.

All the joy drained from her face.

After the kids, the adults went. When it was my turn, I asked her which gift she thought I should choose. She pointed to the one with the plainest wrapping - just green tissue paper, no ribbons or bows. I tore it open to reveal an Italian Cookbook. She looked interested so, even though it was "against the rules," I sidled up next to her and asked, "Is this a book you would like? Do you cook?" She replied with a resounding "Yes!" So, I traded with her.

Her face lit up, she hugged the book, and ran to her folks to point out all the things she would cook in it for them.

Now that's what Xmas is all about.

Plus I got a GameStop gift card! Word.

Dec 2, 2010

Midnight Madness

Was it a delusion? A figment of my imagination that I had some higher purpose? I once believed with all my heart that I was put on this Earth to do something -- what, I'm not so sure.

Now, I've lost my sense of purpose, my direction. I'm a compass spinning with no true North.

I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen -- something big, but I don't know what it is or how long I have to wait and I don't want to waste my time. My life.

So, alien hive mind -- or god -- whatever you call it -- hear me now, tell me now, send me a message...

Show me the way...

I'm lost in a sea of shadows waiting for the daybreak, a ray of informed hope, like VALIS, to instruct me. Hear me. See me. Know me. Read my fortune. My future.

Oct 9, 2010

Thank You, Future Self!

Do you ever hide money from yourself? I do that all the time. I don't just hide money, though. I hide candy and all sorts of what not. I think of them as gifts for my "future self". For example, say I'm in a financially flush period. Well, you never know how long that might last so I'll hide some of that for the hypothetical "rainy day". (As it turns out "rainy days" happen far more frequently in Los Angeles than you'd think.)

So, say six months goes by and times are lean and I go to pull out a certain book and voila! Money falls out. Or I put on a coat and find a 20 in the pocket. Or I'm up in the middle of the night, can't sleep, need a snack, oh! That's right. There's a Twix on the top shelf. Sweet!

So, as a result, I often find myself in situations where I'm thanking my future self. I guess, though, technically speaking, while I'm in my future self, I should be thanking my past self, but that just gets too complicated so I'm sticking with just future self.

So, anyway, what?

My Eggo popped up so I lost my train of thought. Mmm, Eggos. Actually, yeah, Eggos. So, I don't normally buy Eggos, but I had an impulse and I bought some yesterday and tonight I get home and I'm all exhausted but starving but don't feel like the usual fair... I eat like the same thing everyday. Cereal for breakfast. My favorite is Basic 4. With soy milk. Some sort of fake meat product sandwich with cheese, lettuce, and mustard for lunch. Then like tofu and fried rice for dinner. And then I have a handful of variables. But I don't usually have stuff like waffles. I'm getting off track... Thank you for the Eggos, future self!

I also send emails to my future self. Like if I have something I need to remember later on or whatever; I send an email to myself. I also forward headlines and tweets and what not to my future self to read when I have time or am sitting at a computer. I'll see like a juicy title with a link to a video, but I'll be on my Blackberry in bed so I'll send it to my email and think "Oh, future self will have so much fun checking that out later."

And then sometimes weeks go by and I log into my account and I have like 150 emails from "me" and I'll get annoyed at future self for clogging up my inbox, but if I'm bored, I'm excited because then I have hours of entertainment right there all preselected for my exact taste. Better than Tivo. Thank you, future self! I love future self. She's the best.

I know that sounds crazy, but whatever works, right?

Well, I gotta go... Future self lined up a Farscape marathon on Netflix Instant for me. Thank you, future self!

Aug 18, 2010

Wand Worlds

So, I have this wand. Maybe you’ve seen these before. It’s a little longer than a foot, clear glass, filled with little beads and/or sparkly shapes floating in a clear liquid. You can twist it from end to end and the stuff will glide down on the inside.

I was probably 12 when I got my first one. I found it absolutely fascinating. Now mind you this is before cell phones and whatnot so it was easier to be fascinated. I would sit and watch the stuff inside for what felt like hours. There were various sized and colored semi-transparent spheres. The more plentiful smaller spheres were a pinkish red and the fewer larger variety were blue. I used to pretend that the larger spheres were planets and the smaller ones stars and that their universe, their ‘space’ was the liquid. They all had to be in constant movement for their gravity to work or all life would end. I was their god and it was my job to maintain this constant movement in order to sustain life throughout the universe. I had a whole routine worked out. You couldn’t just flip it quickly side to side or a bubble would clog up an end and countless lives would be lost. There were also miscellaneous shapes like stars and moons in various colors like gold and silver floating around, as well as glow-in-the-dark pieces, that I’m sure must have represented something, but I forget what now.

Anyway, I had these whole stories worked out in my head about how the people evolved and how one day they would figure out space exploration and discover that I existed and the meaning of life... Ok, so I spent a lot of time alone as a child, but still, I just find it interesting how such a simple thing with no buttons or screens or batteries could keep me so entertained for so long.

These days I play The Sims instead.