I just had an argument with my head.

I went to the fridge to have Mountain Dew, but my head said, "Have you had water today?"

I kicked my foot, bent my head in shame, and said, "No, no I haven't."

So my head queried, "Do you really want Mountain Dew or do you want water?"

I had no choice but to reply, "Water."

As I reached into the fridge to return the Mountain Dew and retrieve an icy cold water, my head snuck in, "Good girl."

All I could think was, "Fuck you, head."