I went to the fridge to have Mountain Dew, but my head said, "Have you had water today?"
I kicked my foot, bent my head in shame, and said, "No, no I haven't."
So my head queried, "Do you really want Mountain Dew or do you want water?"
I had no choice but to reply, "Water."
As I reached into the fridge to return the Mountain Dew and retrieve an icy cold water, my head snuck in, "Good girl."
All I could think was, "Fuck you, head."