Oct 29, 2008

I just had an argument with my head.

I went to the fridge to have Mountain Dew, but my head said, "Have you had water today?"

I kicked my foot, bent my head in shame, and said, "No, no I haven't."

So my head queried, "Do you really want Mountain Dew or do you want water?"

I had no choice but to reply, "Water."

As I reached into the fridge to return the Mountain Dew and retrieve an icy cold water, my head snuck in, "Good girl."

All I could think was, "Fuck you, head."

Oct 28, 2008

The Book of Lists Horror Reading @ Skylight Books

This past weekend I went to Skylight books for a reading/signing of the Book of Lists Horror.


The atmosphere was warm and welcoming as zombies poured us Bloody Marias -- like a Bloody Mary but made with tequila instead -- and passed out Hemorrhages (which were totally disgusting to look at).

A drink called Hemorrhage

The reading went a little long, but I caught a few highlights on my little digital camera to share with fellow fans of lists and horror.

I should note that I am wicked enjoying reading the book. It's a veritable who's who of the horror genre. I recommend it to both the enthusiast and the casual observer.


Ray Bradbury's Five Horror Films That Most Influenced Him As A Youth read by Del Howison p. 5

James Gunn's Nineteen Favorite Reasons God Made Humans So Squishy p. 38

Josh Olson's Ten Best Horror Movie Sex Scenes p. 149

R. B. Payne's Top Ten Best Horror Pulp Magazine Covers p. 396

And here are a few of the autographs I was able to get at the end while everyone mixed.



Oct 27, 2008

Bono & Edge perform with BB King @ the Kodak (video) *updated*

I was lucky to get tickets to an amazing event at the Kodak Theater: Thelonious Monk International Jazz Saxophone Competition & The Blues and Jazz: Two American Classics Honoring B.B. King and Paul G. Allen in association with The Recording Academy® Los Angeles Chapter.

I went not just to broaden my musical horizons but also because Bono & Edge were scheduled to appear. How could I not go?!?

Sneaky camerawoman that I am, I got some footage of a once in a lifetime performance of When Love Comes to Town. (I was in the nosebleeds with a point 'n' shoot, so please forgive the distance & low quality!)*

Otherwise, enjoy!

More footage of BB, Bono, Edge and others from this legendary night!

*Featured on U2's official website! Check it out here: http://www.u2.com/news/index.php?mode=full&news_id=2265

Oct 26, 2008

Letting Go is the Hardest Part & News Blues

I've been writing commentaries and digging up old poems to publish via Triond to help keep me focused on writing consistently while I still detox from prescription meds and get my life back together.

Triond pays the writer by placing ads throughout the content. I'm not quite sure how it all works and I don't make much money, but every time someone reads my work I get little pocket change. Every little bit helps!

So, if you have an extra moment, please read either (or better yet both!) of my most recently published bits.

One is a tribute/commentary on dealing with the loss of my favorite pets:

Letting Go is the Hardest Part (I already feel better just having expressed myself about it)

And the other a political poem I wrote in 1993 that, sadly, still holds true today:

News Blues

And don't forget to click I Liked It at the bottom!


PS: I have video & pics from the Book of Lists Horror signing to post later, but I gotta go get ready for an event tonight. Stay tuned!

Update: Long since abandoned.

Oct 23, 2008

I’ve got my say (poem)

don't tell me what to talk about
don't tell me what to say
I've got my own mind you know
I use it every day

don't tell me how to think
or what I should believe
I've got my own mind you know
I use it my own way

don't tell me who to love
don't tell me how to hate
don't tell me what to talk about
don't tell me what to say

I've got my own voice you know
I use it my own way

So what if I sleep all day
So what if I'm up all night
This is my life to live
I'll live it my own way

don't tell me that I'm mental
I've got proof that I'm not
Just because I'm different
Doesn't mean I haven't got
The right to believe what I choose
When choice is all that matters
I've got nothing else to lose
I don't care if you think I'm a mad hatter

don't tell me what to talk about
don't try to lead me astray
I've got my own mind you know
And now I've got my say

Oct 18, 2008

WIRED’s blog used an image from my FLICKR photostream AGAIN

See, this is why Googling yourself pays off, right? Ok, so I get home from a great night out at M Bar with one of my friends where we enjoyed an interesting line up of comedians including Kevin Lahaie, a fellow Troma fan, Brian Monarch, who stole the show with his light saber dick routine, & headliner Mike Muratore, when I decided I needed a little self love. So I Googled my Flickr monikor: M3Li55@ (cause I can't just be a plain Jane Melissa) & discovered that Wired Magazine's blog, that once used one of my graphic design's for an article on Net Neutrality, also used my most popular photograph of Bono from my Flickr photostream for an article on U2's frontman. How freaken cool is that? U2 is my all time favorite band ever and here the premier magazine of the geek culture uses a photograph that I took at a U2 concert for their story? I am like totally freaking out at the coolness factor!

Here's the link to the Wired Blog Network article on Bono that used my photograph from the Vertigo tour in Phoenix, AZ:

Bono Calls Radiohead's Approach to Music Sales 'Courageous'

And here's the original photo on Flickr:

THAT'S Bono 2 U

Ok, I'm gonna go squeal myself to sleep now.

Oct 16, 2008

I Miss You (Too Much) (poem)

Wanting happy thoughts
Feeling distraught
I miss you
I miss you so much
My soul aches
Every time I wake
Just want to dream
You're here with me
I miss you
I miss you so much
Emptiness surrounding me
Like waves pounding me
I miss you
I miss you so much
I miss you both so much
My heart cries for you
too much
My soul aches for you
too much
My thoughts race with you
too much
They say time heals all wounds
But I think they're all fools
I just miss you both so much
Can't sleep
Can't barely eat
Losing time
Losing my mind
I miss you both so much
Wanting happy thoughts
Feeling distraught
I miss you
I miss you both too much

For Comet & Lucy

Oct 13, 2008

FEAST 2 DVD signing at Dark Delicacies

Saturday the Boy and I took a trip back over to Dark Delicacies to say hi to Clu and the Feast 2 gang and get our copy of the DVD signed as well as my Cut! 2008 photo with zombies.

FEAST 2 signed

FEAST 2 DVD signing

Cut! 2008 Zombie shot signed by Clu Gulager!

He asked for a copy, too, but I only had one. D'oh! Next time, Clu! And this time I'll sign it! 

Many horror movies come and go but few and far between are the truly unique ones that last forever, especially sequels. Dimension's Feast II: Sloppy Seconds serves up a film worth remembering.

At the DVD signing I raved over the first Feast to director John Gulager telling him how it sufficiently creepified me. Well, Feast 2 delivers even more creepification with new twists and turns and an interesting shift of focus on the science of the beast that can turn any iron stomach. Heck, just recalling the dissection gets my stomach churning! Nevermind the bit with the baby! Holy Moley, they took horror to a whole new level on many layers. Not to mention that I'll never look at my cats the same again...

Horror fans I urge you to feast your eyes upon this sequel from the writers of the Saw sequels and be sure to watch on an empty stomach!

Oct 11, 2008

If you read me, I’ll get paid!

I recently submitted 2 articles (from this blog) to www.triond.com for publishing. One was declined, but one was not. If you click the following URL to read it, I'll make 50% off the ad, so, what are you waiting for? Click so I can buy even more groceries: www.authspot.com/Short-Stories/Living-Without-Meds.292683 (You don't even have to really read it. You can just pretend. I don't mind. Just don't forget to click the "Liked It" at the bottom). Thanks!

Living Without Meds & Really? TV Episode 3

The hardest part about not being on meds anymore is looking back over the 8 years I feel I’ve lost on them. Over 8 years I have dwindled down to total apathy. Apathy over art, friends, cleaning, life, everything. 8 years. Then WAM BAM I get locked up in the loony bin for losing my mind on Effexor equivalent Cymbalta and before I know what’s even going on anymore I’m back in the world and off all meds. But the world has changed so much. Where was I? On meds.

Now that I’m off the meds I want to do stuff, go places, get a job, make things, & meet people. Also, while on meds I wanted to leave my husband. I thought he was the problem, but the problem was inside me! I see that now so clearly looking back but while on the meds, I didn’t know.

I didn’t realize I wasn’t myself anymore. For years friends and family tried to tell me. They tried to figure out why. Some thought it was the marriage because I did. But I’m here to tell you, no, man, it was the meds!

They sucked me dry of my ambition and drive. They nearly killed my creativity and marriage. I’m astounded. And to think that all this time it was my general practioner giving me meds that altered my brain’s chemistry, not a psychiatrist.

I realize now, especially since I finally have a real psychiatrist, just how wrong that was. My family is outraged and thinks those doctors should lose their licenses. I don’t know if I agree with that or not but what I will say is this: if you’re on meds, where did you get them? Are they working?

I recently heard of an individual that is doing really well on Cymbalta. Well, good for him! That’s what it’s all about: well being. If the drugs work, great! They just really didn’t work for me and the problem with having the general practioner in charge is that they are not meeting you weekly to see how you’re doing, to check in, make sure the drugs work. Instead the regular doctor will say things like, “And if you’re feeling suicidal, call me.” Well, I never felt suicidal! I was just, y’know, hallucinating for 3 months. That’s all. I didn’t even know what was going on nevermind have the ability to phone my doctor and say, “Hi there’s a problem here. I’m talking to my dead grandmother and she’s telling me to do things…” Yes. That happened. In retrospect it scares the crap out of me, but I vaguely recall it. (Most of my memories from the Cymbalta episode are gone, though. Thank god.)

Aside from crazy, the drugs before that made me exceedingly lazy. And that’s just not the real me! I have an over active mind that conjures things up all the time from stories to necklaces. I have to be constantly doing something or I get down in the dumps (I’m not going to say depressed because that’s a clinical term. I just get moody. Have something to do, yay. Don’t have something to do, boo.)

I’m over energized and a tad OCD, but I let the apartment totally go (those of you who have been here & have known me the longest have seen the difference). Now that I’m off meds I’m cleaning again and taking care in my apartment’s appearance. I’m doing Yoga again. The trick is to not let negative emotions get me too down. Everyone feels. Having feelings is a good thing. Especially for an artist because what is art other than expressed emotion?

My emotions have been surpressed too long.

I’m a bubbling spring of 8 years of emotion. Nay, a volcano erupting! I feel again and it’s good to feel. Even on bad days. And trust me. It’s not easy. It’s hard to find your way back into the light of day after living in a drug fueled haze for 8 years. So cut me some slack! And thanks for reading…

*First published on Triond: http://authspot.com/short-stories/living-without-meds/

Really? TV Ep 3