Oct 29, 2005

Life: You're Fired!

Have you ever had to fire someone? Break up with someone? Cut off a friendship? How do you go about it? Do you just march right up and say, “You’re fired!” I guess if you’re in the professional world, firing a person is a heck of a lot easier than breaking up with a significant other. Moreover, breaking up is easier than cutting off a friendship, I feel. But how do you do it? A phone call, a message, an e-mail? Do you explain why? Do you worry about something coming back round to hurt you? Do you ignore the situation and keep up pretences because you fear confrontation?

I have absolutely no problem with confrontation if my heart is in the right place.

I can cut you off faster than you can ask why if I truly feel deep down inside that I have to let you go. I do not think this is a bad trait, though I have had people get quite upset with me. However, I’ve watched friends and colleagues suffer due to a fear of confrontation. Really suffer.

Sometimes I avoid a situation, but only if it just doesn’t feel right to break free from the person. In those cases, I need to sit back and contemplate my hesitation because I know that my instincts are always correct (it’s just my brain that gets in the way and musses things up).

Thus, sometimes I look like a wimp because I’ll tend to just ignore the person at all costs until a confrontation is absolutely unavoidable. And when that happens, something positive usually comes from it. So, I take such situations quite seriously.

Burning a bridge should not be done flippantly.

Depending on the situation, business or personal, it should be approached with severe caution. In business, pretences should be maintained until such time as one knows for sure that said bridge must be burned. In personal situations, one needs a little bit more time… Things should be handled delicately.

But, ultimately, you have to do what feels right for you. Seek advice, listen, ponder, but don’t necessarily do everything everyone else tells you to do. Only you know what you need to do.

I write all this because I wish someone had told this to me about 6 months ago.


Immodesty Blaze said...

Ah but then it might not have been the right time...

Personally I dread dumping people. I want everyone to like me and everyone to be happy, which simply meshes badly with dumping. I've only really done it properly once, and touch wood won't again if I can help it. Roll on, passive-agressiveness.

Re advice, I find that it's best only to ask people who will consolidate what you already know but are reluctant to admit to yourself...

Take care!

Melissa St. Hilaire said...

Yeah, I hear that. I'd much rather have someone tell me what I am reluctant to admit myself than some totally random advice that has no relevance.

Thanks for the comment! :)